A little sensitive for most people. Nobody really wants to talk about it and why would they? The way society acts whenever anyone shows any amount of love towards their own self, would put anyone off.
I hate my body. I’m just gonna put it out there. I know many others do. Almost all girls I’ve ever met hate their bodies. Don’t get me wrong, guys can hate their bodies as well. It’s just…the guys I’ve met are so vain and in love with their bodies it’s bordering on illegal. No joke.
My body has been the root of my unhappiness for a while. When in school, I used to get laughed at. It was subtle and you wouldn’t know it was happening unless you were me. My friends were thin with beautiful hair and clear skin. They could wear skirts and tight trousers and tight shirts and look amazing. When I did, I looked like an elephant. Teenagers are so judgemental and girls are even more so.
Society basically pits us against each other. It divides us and makes us hate each other. Which is so fucking shit. We need to stick up for each other. What good is it if half of us girls are shaming the other half? Everyone is already shaming us, we can’t shame each other.
Girl power and all that.
I can’t deny that I used to be so judgemental. I was trying to fit in, trying to belong somewhere. I had no true friends. Anything I told a ‘true friend’ was never kept secret. I’ve gave up trying to fit in now. I know I never will. I won’t even fit in with other mums. As much as younger mums are becoming more accepted, it doesn’t matter. They already had friends before having a child. I had none. And it never got better.
I have a Mum-Tum with stretch marks and rolls. I’ve got flabby skin and cellulite. I’ve tried so much to get rid of it all. Nothing works. Everyone says to exercise but how can I? My mum and boyfriend are always working and wouldn’t babysit while I go to the gym. It’s almost summer and there’s no way I’ll be enjoying it.
I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.
I am trying to like myself better.
I am trying.